What is the Mindfulness program for supermams
" Children will teach you something about yourself. They will teach you that you are capable of deep compassion and also that surely you are not the adult person, calm, nice, competent and lucid that you imagined to be before becoming a mother " Shonda Moralis, author of book "Mindfulness for Supermamme" (The Meeting Point publisher), as well as psychologist and psychotherapist, quotes Harriet Lerner not by chance.
Daily life often leads, above all the working-women and multitasking mothers of the twenty-first century, to face the day with the autopilot inserted.
As well as being physically dangerous, it can also be a trigger for discontent and frustration that lasts over time, and, far from being exhausted, can lead to mental states and negative dispositions, such as passivity, inertia, anxiety and depression.
The practice of "mindfulness", understood as an awareness and actual presence in what one is and in what one does, can help change this state of affairs, bringing not only optimism and well-being, but also fulfillment, self-esteem, joy and gratitude for themselves and for sharing with children and partners. It is really worth taking the time to read this book because, page after page, you learn to put into practice simple and short exercises of daily mindfulness .
Five minutes of daily meditation
As Shonda Moralis reports, " what I have been able to repeatedly observe is that five minutes a day of meditation are sufficient to have clear and convincing results ". The practice of mindfulness pushes us to distance ourselves from the automatic pilot and invites us to be aware of what is happening in the "here and now", in every moment of the day.
Being present means being at 360 degrees, even in those moments when children really lose their temper, but also when they take coffee, when they cook, do their laundry or wash dishes, they do battle cushions all together on the Latvian or end the day with a good glass of red wine.
Grateful awakening
Starting the day in the right way is fundamental, especially for mothers, this is the first unquestionable starting point of the book.
Motherhood is "chaotic and wonderful, exasperating and beatific", but the point is that it is not talked about: around the media they shoot photos and videos of perfect and wonderful mothers, but in fact it is not so. The doubts, the moments of uncertainty, the mistakes, the difficult moments are not only there, but they must also be shared, only in this way can we find support, complicity and union with other mothers or parents in general and we overcome conflicts.
Sometimes even two words are enough while changing the children to the nest to get some comfort and start the day off on the right foot. Yes, because to say thank you to the world and to life already when the eyes are opened is an act of fundamental gratitude . Have you ever tried to give yourself a five-minute ritual to taste your first glorious drink of hot coffee?
Daily connections with the family
The family becomes an exercise in patience and a practice of tolerance : fewer and fewer are the moments in which a mother finds time to be alone with herself, even ten minutes to relax, to take a bath or shower or simply to put on the nail polish. Everything becomes a priority to be met, unexpected, a break in balance and habits aimed at themselves.
And it is precisely here - precisely in the time frame that separates the arrival at the end of the day, upset on the sofa, holding a hot herbal tea and feet on the table, and the scream that echoes from the floor above like a relentless siren - that one still grows, in learning that even during the annoying fraction of certain "special moments interrupted" by a cry, by a revival, by a need, one can continue, however, one's exercise of awareness and "meditation".
Shonda is ready to remind you that music, dance and the game can dissipate all bitterness in an instant!
Connections with oneself and the world
In moments of greater discouragement, when nothing is seen on the horizon to hold onto, when even putting mindfulness into practice becomes difficult, one thing remains, impassive as a certainty: time changes everything.
Through the words of the author and her personal life experience we understand that we can do it worthily even in the face of very great pain, powerful sensations and periods of emotional exhaustion.
The regular practice of mindfulness can help because it offers important connections between itself and the world, it allows you to find, or find, through a series of practical and simple daily exercises, that center that sometimes you can no longer hear, is a refuge of tranquility, a place of silence and peace in the midst of the storm.
The right way to end the day
The conscious pause, full of gratitude in the morning, finds its counterpart in the evening break that materializes in the wine glass . Sometimes, as Shonda says, coffee and wine are among the best tools for maternal survival .
Then there is the summary and the story of the day: just before falling asleep, retracing what was done during the day turns out to be a very useful mindfulness exercise to give meaning and meaning to the life of the whole family.
Everything can then be accompanied by an approach to the partner and a pause of conscious progressive physical relaxation, contracting and then relaxing all the muscles of the body, from those of the limbs to those of the face, for five seconds.
"The agenda of awareness" concludes the book and invites you to mark, week by week, what are the moments of mindfulness you have dedicated to yourself, marking the effects they have had on you.
Shonda Moralis is a doctor in psychology and social assistance, a psychotherapist specializing in stress-related disorders and mindfulness-based therapy. He edited the blog Breathe, Mama Breathe in Psycology Today.
He has created and offers minfulness courses and workshops for children, parents, teachers and students . She lives with her husband and two children in Pennsylvania.
