The first detachment from the child
Mothers suffer when they have to break away from their child. I believe this is a fact. Obviously, since we are not all the same, for some it will be easier, for others less, but in general a mother never faces detachment lightly. Often we tend to delay this moment as much as possible and, of course, the smaller the child, the more likely it is that the removal will be addressed in an anxious manner.
Usually, the moment of the first real detachment occurs when the mother returns to work, but you may need to entrust your small child to others, for various reasons. There are no perfect solutions to peacefully face detachment, but it is possible to create the conditions to make it as traumatic as possible for the mother, and above all for the child.
How to deal with detachment from the child
Let's let the dads help us. A child who can equally count on both parents is a more protected and serene child; a mother who can rely on her partner's unconditional support is a quieter woman. If the father is present and the tasks are divided, the mother has more time to devote herself to work or other activities, with less anxiety and less problems.
- We entrust our child to hands we trust blindly . It can be a grandmother, an aunt, but also a stranger, for example an experienced babysitter, or the nest. The important thing is to choose carefully; we are entrusting our child to her, the most precious good there is and, to be calm, we need to be able to trust ourselves completely. If we opt for the nursery, we must not hesitate to ask for all the information we want about meals and play activities, a direct interview with the nurses who will take care of our child or to see the premises.
- Let us not be anxious at the moment of detachment. When we entrust our child to another person, be it a baby sitter, a grandmother or a childcare worker at a nursery, we should do everything possible not to show the child our anxiety. The children perceive our negative feelings and this affects the way in which they deal with insertion within a new context and their relationship with the person who will take care of him during our absence. At the moment of detachment, therefore, we should try to be always smiling and, at least apparently, serene.
- We dedicate good and quality time to the child . Probably, especially in the first period in which we spend a few hours away from our son, the child, once back in our company, will clamor for our attention and our presence. When we return home, we try to spend as much time with him as possible: let's play with him, pamper him and let him feel all our affection. It will be good for him and for us too.
