Maternal anxiety is normal
We mom are often anxious: it's a normal condition, we shouldn't be ashamed of it. A small dose of anxiety is part of the maternal instinct and sometimes helps us to understand when we are in the presence of a danger for our children. Maternal anxiety becomes a problem when it is excessive, when it induces overprotective behavior, when we are so anxious as not to allow the child to live simple experiences such as eating alone, playing with other children, running.
An overly protective attitude can generate a sense of anxiety even in the child who, most likely, will feel insecure and inhibited.
There are topical moments in the development of a child on which maternal anxieties are most concentrated. Let's analyze some of them, to face it with greater tranquility and maybe find a remedy for our fears.
If the child does not eat
Anxiety about the insufficient nutrition of one's children is a very common evil and affects mothers of children of all ages. However, perhaps it is particularly felt when the baby is small, especially during weaning.
The first question to ask for this type of maternal anxiety is: does the child grow adequately? If the answer is yes, there is no need to worry. Children can eat less than we would expect from them for many reasons. For example? Our expectations are excessive and maybe we would like them to eat out a plate full of jelly at six months or we are proposing foods that do not meet their taste.
We try to interpret and respect the tastes and times of children and we will probably find two remedies in one fell swoop: for our anxiety and their nutrition.
When the child begins to walk
The baby taking its first steps, with insecure gait, is another big reason for maternal anxiety. Will the child fall? Will it hurt? Obviously we must be very careful to eliminate all those dangerous conditions that could damage it: steps, edges, obstacles on which you can slip ...
For the rest, if the environment is safe, there is no need to worry too much because children usually know how to adjust themselves and, when they do not feel safe, they do not let go. We try to have more confidence in their abilities and the falls will be limited and not serious.
Try to look closely at a child who is learning to walk: when he cannot make it, he tends to sit or lean on something, if he is about to fall forward, he has the instinct to rest his hands on the ground. It does not mean that we must not be alert to accidental falls because, instead, we must have very tense antennas, only that we can trust our children more .
Entrance to the nest
Another very common reason for maternal anxiety is detachment when we entrust the child to the care of others, especially when we start working again and bring the child to the nest. If we have chosen well, we must try to stay calm.
Common questions we ask ourselves and which increase our maternal anxiety are: will you get sick? Will he eat enough? Will it suffer from the distance from the family environment? Children get sick : it is normal, we cannot prevent it. Of course, community integration increases the chances of contagion of viral diseases, but our children can get sick even while at home and, in any case, we cannot keep them under a glass bell.
Medications and children: what to watch out for
Children want to be with their mother and so it can happen that, being away, they suffer from it. The child inserted into the environment in the nest becomes accustomed, however, to receiving security from other adults who he visits on a daily basis, that is, the nursery mothers to whom he is entrusted, and will succeed in this way in managing the separation from the mother. Children have a good ability to adapt and, if the mother is present, attentive and affectionate in the moments that she will manage to carve out together with her child, the baby will grow very well, even if she will have to spend part of the day in a different environment than the family one.
And how do we put it into nutrition? Usually, children, when they are together with their peers, eat more willingly. We just have to inform ourselves well about the quality of the nursery that we have chosen.
Maternal anxiety: remedies?
A mother should never let her guard down. Dangers exist and it is the parent's job to protect children. However, there are situations that we live with more apprehension than necessary. If we find ourselves exaggerating we can try to contain anxiety by distracting ourselves or controlling our breathing with respiratory autogenic training.
It can also be very useful to deal with other mothers, to realize that maternal anxiety is normal and also to better understand what the real dangers are and which, instead, are the situations we magnify for too much anxiety.
