Yesterday afternoon, during a Life Coaching session, one of my clients showed me his discomfort, explaining to me how he now feels " stuck in an unsatisfactory relationship " that has taken a different direction from that imagined and how he feels strongly fought over what to do, as " now things have gone well ".

Who has never been in a similar situation at least once in their life?

Who ever happened to have started a personal or professional relationship that turned out to be disappointing?

To whom has never happened to have undertaken a collaboration / a marketing activity / policy that proved to be below expectations?

These situations are, in fact, quite frequent and the main reasons that determine them are the following:

I. Above all, staying within our COMFORT AREA gives us the illusory feeling of having things under control . So even in spite of a more attractive or favorable but unknown alternative, we tend to prefer our current habits because they are more reassuring.

Do you know the saying " who goes on the new road knows what he leaves, but does not know what he finds ... "? Here, it is probably the worst advice you can give to those who need or want to change, innovate, get different results.

II. The HABITS that we have consolidated determine almost 100% of our shares. From the beginning to the end of the day, your habits largely decide your speeches, your actions, your reactions and your answers . This automatism arises from our brain's need to make the complexity of today's world more manageable, making the decision-making process faster.

Think about when you shop: do you consider the full range of options each time or do you generally buy the same detergent, the same yogurt, or at least the same brand?

III. Cialdini's PRINCIPLE OF COERENCE highlights how most people nurture the desire to be and appear coherent with their words, their beliefs, their behavior and their actions .

This tendency to consistency is nourished by three hands: first and foremost, good consistency is well seen by society . Second, a general tendency to consistency provides a beneficial approach to everyday life. Third, as seen above, a coherent orientation allows us to have a valid shortcut to the complexity of modern life. If we behave in a manner consistent with the initial decision, we no longer need to review all the relevant information in similar future situations: we just need to remember the initial situation and behave coherently with it.

So the decisions to make commitments, even if "wrong", tend to repeat themselves because they build their own motivations . That is, we tend to add new motivations and justifications to support the opinion of the commitment made. And, by doing so some commitments remain standing even after the initial conditions have changed.

Now, by virtue of these reflections, I suggest, applying the ZERO-BASED THOUGHT, to answer the following question:

There is something in your life that,

knowing what you know now,

you would avoid doing today,

if I had the opportunity to do it again?

Consider your private and professional relationships: are there any of these that represent a commitment of time, energy, emotions or money that, knowing what you know today, would avoid hiring you again?

And, in the workplace: are there initiatives, strategies, policies that, knowing what you know today, would avoid undertaking? Are there any products or services that you would avoid starting to sell today? Are there any business methods or processes that you would avoid starting to use today? Market sectors where today would you avoid placing yourself?

Now I ask you:

What actions do you undertake to make immediately,

following what you realized

answering these questions?

Good job, see you soon

Eleanor